Walter is free... or is he? (Chapters 11-14)

Hello Again!

During this week's reading, we find out that Walter McMillian is finally freed. Stevenson wastes no time making sure that we know that while it is a very good thing that happened, it's important to understand that Walter's life is not and never will be the same. Stevenson takes us through the emotional roller coaster of Walter being released from prison and faces his readers with the reality that once you are convicted of a crime, whether you are guilty or not, you will never truly be free.

I am going to focus on the end of Walter McMillian's story, or how even though it seems like it's the end, it's not. It's simply a new chapter for him on the long, complex road ahead that has now inevitably become his life. Yes, he is finally freed from being wrongly convicted and sentenced to death for a murder he had absolutely nothing to do with, but the fact that he will never be able to return to his life the way it was before and that he has to constantly live in fear is deeply saddening.

I feel for Walter. For six long years, he dreamed of the day when he could hopefully be released. He dreamed of the day when he could have a good meal with steak, chicken, and pork, and celebrate with everyone in Montgomery who had never given up hope in the fight to get him the justice he deserved. But after the excitement wears off... what is left? You start to realize that your whole life is gone and you will never get back what you had before.

His happy life was taken away from him for no good reason other than people felt like they should lock up an innocent man and portray him as a big bad criminal on the media while letting the actual murderer run free.

One of the things that saddened me most was the fact that Minnie, Walter's wife, was internally fighting and hoping for Walter's release over the past six years, yet even though what she hoped for came true, she wasn't able to get her husband back. Even though they loved each other six years ago, they both knew that they could never live together under one roof again.

“‘Bryan, I think that you need to tell him that maybe he shouldn’t come back here. It’s just all been too much. The stress, the gossip, the lies, everything. He doesn’t deserve what they put him through, and it will hurt me to my heart the rest of my life what they did to him, and the rest of us. But I don’t think I can go back to the way things were.” (p. 222)

To me, this quote that Stevenson chooses to include from Minnie makes the story seem even more real and emotional. I can picture Walter's family in my head, all of them living life day by day wondering if he will ever be set free. Yet when he is finally set free, they realize that it will be impossible to go back to normal because every day they will be reminded of the six years that he wasn't there. The six years that their husband, or father, was locked away awaiting his death for doing nothing but living and breathing and living his normal everyday life.

It is clear that Minnie, Walter's wife, loves Walter. Perhaps her decision to separate has something to do with the fact that Walter had previously cheated on her with Karen Kelly before the whole conflict happened.

I also understand another reason why she might think it would be best if they were to go their separate ways. Sometimes the reminder of what you have missed is so powerful and aggressive that it is impossible to even have a chance at a better life because you are constantly being reminded of the years that you could have had and the things that you could have done or seen but weren't there for. Seeing each other and living under the same roof again will undoubtedly be a constant trigger for those reminders.

It's not simply the reminders that are keeping Walter away, but it's also about the danger that Walter could bring to his family if he returned home as if everything was the way it was before.

Media and gossip played a big role in Walter McMillian's story. Because of the media and the lies that people created and began to believe over the years, McMillian will never be truly free.

His reputation will be forever ruined. There will always be uneducated, stubborn people that choose to view McMillian as a dangerous man.

Stevenson describes at the beginning of Chapter 11 how his law firm had been receiving bomb threats. That itself is unnerving, as the fact that people are willing to do that to the layers who are trying to help McMillian’s case is scary. Now imagine being McMillian, and what those same people would want to do to the man that they are trying to keep behind bars.

“The threats we received made me worry about the hostility that Walter would face if he was ever released. I wondered how safely he could live in the community if everyone was persuaded that he was a dangerous murderer.” (p. 208)

Having to step back out into the world, unprotected, and with so many people hating you because all the lies over the years had been cooked up into one story that everyone refused to believe anything else but.

You are viewed as a murderer and feared every day by the people you used to know and maybe even trust. That has to start taking a toll on the mind after a while and be a heavy weight on the shoulders.

Even Walter admitted to Stevenson that it probably wouldn’t be best for him to return home the day of his release and if he was planning to return home that he shouldn’t go back for several weeks. If people are going to come after him, then he shouldn't bring that risk of violence onto his family.

Towards the end of Chapter 13, one quote that Stevenson used with Walter really stuck in my head. This occurred when Stevenson finally gets around to turning on the news and he sees Walter in an interview that he'd been in a couple of weeks back:

“‘They put me on death row for six years! They threatened me for six years. They tortured me with the promise of execution for six years. I lost my job. I lost my wife. I lost my reputation. I lost my--I lost my dignity.'” (p. 254)

After Walter says that Stevenson describes that he then crouches to the ground and begins to cry. It's almost like I can head the sadness and defeat in Walter's voice in my head as I read those words. This is such an emotional scene and it makes Walter seem like a fragile soul which is probably exactly what Stevenson is shooting for.

When I read that I begin to think about myself if I was in his shoes. What could happen in six years?

So much.

For me, I would miss out on my college education. I would miss six years of my young adult life in which I would be figuring out who I was going to be as a person and how I was going to transfer to living a life of my own. I would never get those years back, and I would be scared.

For Walter, he missed years in which he could have been there for his kids. He missed six of their birthdays, six Christmases, and six New Years. He missed six years that he could have spent with his wife, six years that he could have built up his logging business. He had six years of his life stolen from him and there is nothing that can do to fix that.

Stevenson uses Walter’s story to make sure that something like his story will never happen again. Stretched out over the chapters of this book, Walter’s story is the prime example of something that should never happen again. Complemented with various other stories involving wrongly convicted black men and women, those struggling with mental illness, and children shows just how flawed the criminal justice system is in multiple different areas. Walter McMillian isn’t the only one and his story is not the end of the fight.

Right before the judge was going to make his ruling that Walter McMillian was never guilty and
that he should be released from death row because there's absolutely no evidence that supports
him being involved in the murder, Stevenson speaks up and teaches the judge a lesson as well as his
readers:

“Your Honor, I just want to say this before we adjourn. It was far too easy to convict this wrongly accused man for murder and send him to death row for something he didn’t do and much too hard to win his freedom after proving his innocence. We have serious problems and important work that must be done in this state.” (p. 225)

This quote is so powerful as it’s the first time in this book that Stevenson is able to use those words

in court and it seems like they listened. But did they? They realized their mistake, or rather, realized that

their evidence backing the idea that McMillian was the murderer was beginning to be questioned.

So there was no choice but to let the truth come out.

Stevenson wants to make sure that the court and the public know that McMillian’s story should not be

forgotten.

It should be a lesson for the future.

As Stevenson says, the fight is not over yet. All of McMillian’s fellow innocent friends back on death row,

and the many different stories we heard from Stevenson have not yet ended in freedom. McMillian’s

story is only one example of the many stories that have the possibility of good endings. 

There is so much work to be done, and so many stories to steer onto better paths. But there is also work

to be done to make sure that innocent men, women, and children don't end up in prison in the place of

actual murderers and criminals in the future.

If only something had been done sooner, than Walter McMillian and thousands of others would have

never been where they are today.

Walter's story is only the start of one long adventure.

Stevenson makes it clear that Walter McMillian may never truly be free. There have been changes in his

life that he will be never be able to fix. Maybe if justice is found for all of the people suffering as he once

was, another weight could be taken off of his shoulders.

But sadly, the Walter that once was no longer exists and he is always going to be tied down by the

reminders of the time his life was taken away and he was labeled a murderer.

Thanks for reading!

WORKS CITED:

Stevenson, Bryan. Just Mercy. Spiegel & Grau, 2014.